A Flawed Plan Executed Quickly and with Confidence is Better than a Perfect Plan Enacted Too Late.
Aldebrand nodded once and rose, extending his hand, "I accept your proposal, Captain."
He paused, adding, "It is our custom that whosoever commands a naval vessel be regarded as 'Captain' irrespective of their actual military rank. I do not mean offense."
Then he sat again and opened a drawer, producing an additional parchment, ink, and quill.
"I shall write orders for the crew to follow in my absence. I will bring my personal attendants, arms, amor, essential gear, and three heavy horse, if that is permissible."
He mentally composed his letter before writing it. This was going to be a three-pigeon job, at least.
"First Officer Godfred, I have parlayed with Lieutenant Wynn Rhew Gaeaf, who is some manner of minor noble in service to the Jade Empress' royal guard. She claims to have no knowledge of our visit, despite our signed papers indicating the contrary. I have suggested that there is some plot to create an unfortunate incident between our respective nations. She has proposed that we investigate this together, while the men aboard ship receive local entertainment and refreshment. I have accepted this offer, and find Lieutenant Wynn to be eminently agreeable and wise.
Unfortunately, I have rarely known someone to be so agreeable without also carrying a knife for my back. In the interests of diplomacy, I will accept her offer in good faith. I will attempt to investigate this heinous political machination. I will attempt to bring the schemers behind this to justice, or at least bring them to light. Meanwhile, there is a good chance that I will be imprisoned and the entertainment she sends aboard the Sea Shark will be agents of misfortune, possibly secret law officers or assassins. They may have hidden weapons, or carry drugged wine, or employ other tools of deceit.
In the interests of diplomacy, you will accept them aboard and accept their offers of entertainment, but will not trust them one iota. Men who make use of their services shall do so in small shifts, so that any illness, disability, or violence will affect the fewest number. At the first confirmed sign of hostility or treachery, you are to cut free all moorings and take the Sea Shark back across the waters to the Salt Fort. Do not fire upon any Gaelic vessel, nor any dragon, and do not raise steel or quarrel except to oppose a boarding action. I estimate that our ship is faster than theirs, and if they do not employ dragons, you should escape them if you get a head start. If they do use dragons, it will mean war. Copy and send this message to my father via pigeons as soon as I disembark. Remind each man to be Worth his Salt. -Sir Aldebrand of Salain"
Finishing the letter, he took a handful of fine sand from something that looked like a snuff box and sprinkled it on the page before blowing it off. Then he went to the door of his spacious cabin and opened it. The First Mate was standing nearby, along with two of the marines.
"I am accepting the hospitality of the Lady Captain-Lieutenant Wynn. She is arranging refreshment for the men when we get to port. These are my orders while I am away. Let's make to Duskhallow, under friendly escort."
As if to underline the remark, the shadow of a dragon passed across the ship. Far above, one of the Gaelic dragon-riders made a routine patrol, doubtless curious about the two vessels tethered below. But these happenings were beneath the care of dragon-riders.
At least for now.
When Sir Aldebrand and Wynn stepped aboard the Gaelic Quinquereme, with the cringing Simeon in the their wake, the reception of the first mentioned individual was perhaps more effusive than he might have expected, for the heavily bearded Commander of the ship strode up and immediately clasped his wrist in the manner of these humans who dwelt among the Drakari.
"Well met, My Lord!" beamed the gruff old seafarer "I am Gruppa: we have met before, or at least our ships have! My vessel and the Sea Shark traded quarrels during the late war, it does me good to see her again! And in the Great War..." he clearly saw the last conflict as a mere skirmish, even if it did involve the virtual destruction of the Salain fleet "... ah, in that mighty conflict, your father and I actually traded sword strokes man to man, I still bear the scars!" he said nostalgically, baring the remains of a wound on his upper bicep, now white with age. "How does the old rascal?!!" he asked.
Wynn seemed rather impatient with all this bonhomie.
"Commander, the enemy... I mean the visiting vessel will follow us into port. The men aboard will be provisioned and provided with entertainment. You will please take care of our esteemed guest, Sir Aldebrand, while I go ahead to make arrangements." she informed him. The old seadog gave a nod of understanding and did not seem at all surprised when, after giving a short farewell - "Until we meet again" - to the handsome knight, she walked to the stern of the tall ship and promptly jumped over the side!
Suddenly the whole ship rocked, as if hit by a giant freak wave, and a massive black shape arose from the waters upon which they were bobbing: a black dragon, fantastically enormous at this close range, and atop his withers the lithe figure of Wynn Rhew Gaeaf, looking far more at home there than she had upon the ship.
"I hate it when she does that!" grumbled commander Gruppa.
A Flawed Plan Executed Quickly and with Confidence is Better than a Perfect Plan Enacted Too Late.
Aldebrand's eyes widened somewhat as he received an unexpectedly warm welcome from what appeared to be the First Mate of the Gaelic vessel. Clasping the man's forearm was a welcome familiarity, and made him think that things might be all right after all.
Then the man's words mixed together a brew of bristly ire, regret, sadness, and pride that bubbled up within Aldebrand's belly. It was a heady elixir, and the younger Knight took a moment to process the emotions. He also took a moment to process the words themselves, which were initially confusing. The Burning of the Salt Fleet had been 80 years ago.
"Ah," he responded at last, "you refer to my grandfather, Benovan. Your people are longer-lived than mine. I am glad to hear he acquitted himself honorably in combat."
"How does the old rascal?!!"
Aldebrand did not pause further before answering, "He committed ritual suicide to atone for the shame of losing our fleet. Our House was forever changed by the loss. We are predominately land-fighters, now. Another House holds the honor of building the Dutchy's ships. We field our few warships to honor history, and to attend to diplomatic functions and other special occasions."
He realized as he concluded the statement that he'd said too much. It was nothing that the Gaelic peoples were unlikely to discover if they cared to. These were not state secrets. But it felt ill, somehow, to be sharing thia information so openly with a prior (and perhaps future) enemy. The man had disarmed him with his friendliness.
Then something utterly unexpected and entirely alarming occurred.
Lady Captain-Lieutenant Wynn propelled herself off the end of the ship, as though to make for a dive in her full regalia.
A suicidal move, with such a weight of armor. And yet she promptly ascended again on the back of an enormous dragon.
"Wha- Whe-?!" Aldebrand was at a loss to form a coherent question for a moment, "Was that Dragon here the whole time?"
A stunning and terrible revelation. Not only could they never have offered useful resistance... but the beast had gone entirely undetected. With eyes so focused on the skies, it had never occurred to Aldebrand that the fire-breathing beasts might lurk below. An unseen, underwater threat.
It was a humiliating and humbling thing to realize that you drew breath only at someone's sufferance. That they could snuff you out in an instant if they so chose, and suffer nary a wound for it. His situation, and those of his men, was much more precarious than he had understood.
And if war game with Clan Gael?
It would be ruinous. It might end the Kingdom. It would certainly be the end of the Dutchy. House Salain, for all of its mighty Felldrakes, could only prick at this indomitable force.
Perhaps the burning of the Salt Fleet had been inevitable.
But as horrifying as this was, it was also a gift. Aldebrand had been shown what the enemy was.
Now, if he and his House were clever, they could prepare for the reality of it.
A reality they had avoided acknowledging.
A reality they could avoid no longer.
Although Gruppa was merely nonplussed by the appearance of the young black dragon out of the blue, or rather, out of the ocean-green, Aldebrand was quite taken aback by the flying monster.
"Wha- Whe-?!" Aldebrand was at a loss to form a coherent question for a moment, "Was that Dragon here the whole time?"
"Uh, that's just Gruudux, her dragon. Bit of a funny bugger that one, likes the water, see? - most of 'em don't. Something to do with him being descended from a Sea Dragon centuries ago who mated with the Empress' sister. I dunno, they don't interest me, the scaly beasts. I prefer humans!" he said cheerfully, giving the Salain noble a hearty slap on the shoulder, even though he was supposed to be an officer in the Gaelic navy and serve the Jade Empress Dragon herself. He looked over to the Sea Shark. "Aye, only Humans can build ships like this one, and your beauty."
Gruppa had realised that maybe mentioning what had happened in the past, during The War might not have been such a good idea. Now the golden-haired girl had departed, he dwelt instead on the aforementioned 'other house'.
"Huh! But that Crogan lot! Their ships are nothing like your Grandfather's" the old salt shook his head "Oh no, the Salain fleet, in its prime, that was a sight to behold. Beautiful ships, beautiful! Those Crogan tubs aren't worth the cost of the tar to caulk 'em! Barely fit to fish for mermaids in. Course..." he looked around, to make sure there wasn't an enormous dragon or one of the dragon riders like Wynn standing right behind him on the narrow deck, listening to this treasonous grumbling. "... I wish we could have had a proper set-to during the War without the blasted Drakeri interfering; ship against ship, man against man, wood against wood, steel against steel, eh, Lad!!!" he gave a bellowing , coughing laugh. He might not look old enough to have been in a sea battle 80 years ago, but he was certainly batty enough to be nearing his centenary year.
The two vessels made good speed and were soon approaching port; Gruppa pointed out a small group of dark figures on black horses awaiting them on the quay.
"Look, they're the dragon riders of Rhew Gaeaf's Wing, lad! All women. Some folk call 'em 'The Valkyries'. I call 'em the bloody Harpies!! Well, let's just hope she's sent them down here as an Honour Guard for you, not to chop you to bits, eh?! A-ha ha ha!!" Again he let out a gusty, Falstaffian chortle.
As they got nearer, it could be seen that the troop of golden-haired horsewomen, who presumably would find riding their dragons through the streets of the port city somewhat injurious to the architecture of the place, were all, indeed, young, beautiful women in armour similar, but not identical, to that of the Lieutenant, but lacking her golden gorget of rank.
Gruppa shuddered. "Aye, give me the shivers they do, those Drakeri women" the man confided "... and not in the good way." Indeed, many humans, even those who, like Gruppa, had lived among the dragon-atuned near-humans for their whole lives, found themselves un-nerved a little by the race: even more so than humanoids who were even less like themselves. "I think I'd rather spend a night with a marsh-hag than one of them pretty little killers." Gruppa nodded sagely.
A Flawed Plan Executed Quickly and with Confidence is Better than a Perfect Plan Enacted Too Late.
The passage into the harbor at Duskhallow was like transitioning into a fabled realm. But the fable was real. And for a member of House Salain, it was less a fable than a tale of horror.
A grand arch over the harbor, below which all ships must pass, was made of fused 'dragonstone.' This, rather than being a particular variety of stone, was a method of construction virtually unique to these Gaelic peoples. They used dragonfire to partially melt stones and cause one to fuse with the next, such that the entire expanse of stone became a continuous monolith of great strength. Catapulted rocks could not hope to break apart walls or structures made with such methods.
And the Gaelic people did not save such methods for their grand fortifications. They even used it on their roads, or so Aldebrand had heard.
Soon enough, his eyes would rest upon the reality of it, proving that the horror stories were true.
What kept these people from conquering the whole world?
At least his host was chipper.
"I prefer humans! Aye, only Humans can build ships like this one, and your beauty."
Aldebrand wasn't at all sure that was true, but he appreciated the sentiment.
"...But that Crogan lot! Their ships are nothing like your Grandfather's..."
The Knight of House Salain couldn't help but smile a bit at that. He agreed with the old man. House Salain had treated the construction of each ship like the construction of a cathedral. Even now, they maintained their two remaining galleys with the adoring care of a grandfather polishing a family heirloom. They were more than ships. They were the embodiment of House Honor and the last spark of a past glory.
Crogan churned out ships without the same level of care or art. They worked. They sailed. They could fight.
But they would never be as beautiful.
"I wish we could have had a proper set-to during the War without the blasted Drakeri interfering; ship against ship, man against man, wood against wood, steel against steel, eh, Lad!"
Aldebrand frowned slightly, "It would have been a better match."
Meaning, House Salain would at least have had a chance. The indiscriminate destruction of the House Fleet in response to some criminals raiding eggs had to rank with the greatest tragedies of history.
The ship finally came fully into port, and there were eye-catching figures assembled, waiting for them.
"Look, they're the dragon riders of Rhew Gaeaf's Wing, lad! All women. Some folk call 'em 'The Valkyries'. I call 'em the bloody Harpies!! Well, let's just hope she's sent them down here as an Honour Guard for you, not to chop you to bits, eh?! A-ha ha ha!!"
Aldebrand glanced sideways at the old man. No... he didn't actually believe they'd been sent to chop him up. But he did believe they were probably his prison escort, and not any manner of honor guard.
"Well, at least they are beautiful. The creator made your country's women with reverence."
Then he lifted his chin to Gruppa, "Your Lady agreed I would have my gear, arms, armor, three heavy horse, and two attendants. By your leave, I'll signal my ship to offload them now."
Aldebrand glanced sideways at the old man. No... he didn't actually believe they'd been sent to chop him up. But he did believe they were probably his prison escort, and not any manner of honor guard.
"Well, at least they are beautiful. The creator made your country's women with reverence."
"Huh! You haven't met my wife!" grumped the old boy "Well, she's only a quarter Drakeri, of course, but she gives herself the airs of a full dragon rider. Only thing she'll ever ride is a broomstick. And as for her Mother! If she ever got on a Dragon she's crush the poor bloody thing to death!" It was becoming clear why the Commander refused to retire and spent as much time as possible at sea.
Then he lifted his chin to Gruppa, "Your Lady agreed I would have my gear, arms, armor, three heavy horse, and two attendants. By your leave, I'll signal my ship to offload them now."
"Oh, did she now, did she?" the old salt asked rhetorically, with a scratch of his beard.
"Hmmm. That's a test, lad, I reckon. I know you hardly know me from Adamus, but if you'll take a fellow sailor's advice, I should go alone.... and unarmed."
He waved a placatory hand "I know, I know. But believe me, if those blonde bitches wanted to finish you on the quayside or seize you and throw you in one of our scaly Empress's dungeons, they could do it whether you had two men or twenty with you, and were you armed to the teeth like Pragus himself in the legend."
Commander Gruppa felt he had done all he could to help the serious young man (well, at 30 years, Aldebrand seemed young to him!) and let him make his own choice. The four women at the dock seemed impassive as the goodly knight from across the Sea disembarked and did not deign to smile or break their grim visage even when the portly skipper of the quinquereme spake with them in their own barbaric tongue.
Gruppa looked up at Aldebrand upon his steed for one last (but hopefully not final) farewell.
"Good luck, lad! And here's to the day we can get together to drink a goodly yard of of ale together..." he glanced at their two ships bobbing next to each other in the harbour "... or have a good fight, eh?!! A-Ha ha ha!"
The horse-mounted dragon-rider with the best command of the Bryddic tongue, and who looked just as po-faced as the rest of them, gave a curt order: "We. Go." and the little cavalcade set off down the fine streets of Duskhallow, clip-clopping along at some speed, sending the mainly human denizens of the great port flying hither and thither to avoid being trampled. The impression given was that the fair maidens would have trotted over any man, woman or child who didn't move out of their way without a qualm, or even have used their short, vicious looking black leather quirts on them, to improve the gymnastics of the mere human dross who cluttered the thoroughfares of the Drakeri City.
When they reached the fortress-like residence of their Wing's commander, Aldebrand was treated to a second dose of the sulky blonde's Bryddic "We. Here." and then, once they had dismounted and blonde harpy number two had taken his horse's reigns a scintillating and loquatious "Go. In. Here." as she led him through a door and a corridor to a chamber wherein waited Wynn Rhew Gaeaf.
Wynn dismissed the dragon-rider peremptorily and looked Aldebrand up and down. She was no longer in uniform, but a very feminine and form-fitting kirtle of some gossamer light material which was thin enough to become translucent if she were careless enough to stand in front of a brightly lit window, as she was right now.
"You are welcome here as my honoured guest, Sir Aldebrand." she said simply.
A Flawed Plan Executed Quickly and with Confidence is Better than a Perfect Plan Enacted Too Late.
Aldebrand opened his mouth to explain to Gruppa that he needed these things- not in case he was going to be seized and killed- but rather in case he wasn't. If he was going to help find the fiends behind this deception (assuming Wynn was not in on it) then he'd need loyal and skilled assistants along with his arms, armor, and transportation.
But... he ultimately closed his mouth again without making explanation. This did not feel like the moment to push and ruin a friendly atmosphere. The old man went on to describe his jolly dissatisfaction with his wife and mother-in-law, in a way that seemed almost culturally universal among men in every country.
Finally, as they parted company, he clasped Gruppa's hand in farewell.
"Thank you for your honesty and good humor. If we meet again on good terms, I would enjoy that ale with you. If we meet on the field of battle, I shall slay you quickly. Someone of your experience should not be given even half a chance to make good use of it. You are too dangerous."
It was as good a compliment as he could offer any man.
Once he joined the Valkyries, he found the conversation less entertaining due to their limited scope of command of the Bryddian tongue. "It is unfortunate our nations are so at odds," he offered at one point during the ride, "for if our men could freely fornicate with your kind, a bevy of handsome and formidable children would surely result. Good product for both of our armies, I should think."
But, perhaps by the virtue of a kind God, they did not seem to understand his statement.
Finally, he reached a keep, and suspected he was about to be introduced to its dungeon. But... no. He found himself in what he presumed to be Wynn's home, and confronted with the lady herself. She was doubly beautiful outside of her armor, and he was momentarily taken aback by the vision of her in the light of the window.
He became aware of an uncomfortable swelling in his breeches, and glanced down to find it offensively visible even to a casual observer. He snapped his head up again.
"Thank you, Lady Lieutenant Wynn." He tried to turn his body to the side in an attempt to conceal the bulge. "Please forgive any unsightly... enthusiasm. The vision of you in this light, and in that attire, has captured my baser nature. I mean no offense."
He cleared his throat, trying to shift the course of his thoughts, "I beg to ask about my arms, armor, horse, and attendants. If we are to embark on a joint quest against scheming villains, I will surely require these things for the hunt we will share."
"Thank you, Lady Lieutenant Wynn."
The winsome Wynn followed his eyes down and her own became wide. At first she thought he was harbouring some concealed weapon, a belaying pin, mayhap, from the deck of his galley, but then she realised that it was more by way of a biological effect of their proximity that was causing this insurrection in his hose.
He tried to turn his body to the side in an attempt to conceal the bulge. "Please forgive any unsightly... enthusiasm. The vision of you in this light, and in that attire, has captured my baser nature. I mean no offense."
"Oh." she said, dragging her eyes back up to his. "Then it is I who owe you an apology, Sir Aldebrand: I merely donned this white kirtle to symbolise my pacific intent, I did not intend it to distract you from our purpose." she apologised. "If my garment is too distracting, please inform me and I shall take it off." she said seriously.
He cleared his throat, trying to shift the course of his thoughts, "I beg to ask about my arms, armor, horse, and attendants. If we are to embark on a joint quest against scheming villains, I will surely require these things for the hunt we will share."
He tried to continue their earnest discussion, but she could not help but feel his eyes upon her small but firmly jutting breasts and the tight hug of cambric around her hips and thighs which the white dress accentuated rather than hid; or notice that the swelling in his manly area had become if anything, more painfully pronounced than ever.
"Sir." she stopped him, with an uplifted and surprisingly dainty hand, for a warrioress. "It is my understanding that when a man is in a state of arousal, no matter how unwanted, it is difficult for him to think straight or to plan wisely. Would not it be meet, before we make our plans, to assuage you of this affliction. Perhaps I could summon a serving girl who, for a copper or two, might release your ardour." Compared to the well bred ladies of his father's court, she was rather frank about this sort of thing. "Or if it please you better, we two could lie together, for my bed chamber is but through yonder doorway."
It was, she had quite coldly decided, the most logical way to get her new ally's mind back fully on their mutual problem: from what she had heard of human males, it would all be very quickly over in a minute or two, and they could get back to important business.
A Flawed Plan Executed Quickly and with Confidence is Better than a Perfect Plan Enacted Too Late.
Aldebrand's mouth dropped open slightly as she spoke to him so plainly of intimate matters. Such talk had once earned him disfavor in the royal court, as he'd spoken of courtship and noble alliances in a matter-of-fact fashion to the King's daughter. So much of Bryddian society seemed to be based on the dance of suggestion and deceit. But here was a Gaelic Lady, of some admittedly poorly understood noble position, speaking to him as plainly as ink on parchment.
She had mentioned being part of the royal guard of the highest authority in this land. It was the sort of position one could not attain unless one's House was well-regarded, and in good standing. Moreover, no impoverished House could attain such a position, as a poor family would never be well-regarded in court. So... whatever her noble position... it must be at least on par with his own.
And there was more to consider. His father had ordered him to seek a Lady to court. Surely, his father had intended a Bryddic Lady. Yet an alliance with a formerly hostile power could be much more beneficial. What better way to quell the danger of dragons- some of which could swim! And such a noble Gaelic Lady could not be proposing this act now unless she had the support of her Empress.
Aldebrand had thought to be imprisoned... but the only chains afoot seemed to be the bindings of marriage. She doubtless wanted to secure his seed now so that he could not back out later. Not without creating a horrible diplomatic incident.
The bed waiting in the next room was no less than a marriage bed, and a contract of alliance and goodwill. Somehow, in a single stroke, he had accomplished a diplomatic feat even his father could not have imagined.
Well... perhaps more than a single stroke. At least, he hoped so.
Some years ago he'd been brought to a brothel with the intention that he know what it was to be with a woman. But his prior service at sea had made him quite wary of the diseases which loose women and men seemed to trade like playing cards across a table. So rather than spend himself in the whore, he had questioned her. A conversation of over an hour, with visual demonstrations, and close inspections of every bit of flesh the woman had suggested were essential to pleasure.
Oh, he had throttled himself properly after that encounter. He'd never seen a woman so closely, and openly. It was a panoply of grist for a young man's vigorous milling. But he'd not merely used the experience to feed the beast within. No. He'd committed every bit of the lesson to memory. And writ it in his journal for later review, besides.
In his childhood, he'd heard the Ladies of a sewing circle tittering about the poor performance of their husbands, relying on euphemisms to mask their meaning. But he was no fool. He knew what they'd said. He knew that women were commonly disappointed in their men. He'd vowed to give no cause for regret to his future wife, leaving no fissure in the foundation of whatever alliance their marriage formed.
He'd hardly dared to imagine what sort of alliance it would be.
"I accept your proposal," he said at last, and moved into the indicated bedroom. There, he unbuttoned his shirt and loosened his breeches as he curled and uncurled his tongue inside of his mouth, thinking to limber it for the extensive licking his prostitute instructor had suggested was necessary for the best possible marital experience. The licking had to be done first, before the thrusting. Before the breach. Before the blood.
Once he stood before her, nude and at full attention, he slipped one of his rings from a finger.
"I do not know your traditions here, but in my country, the man gives his intended a ring. This one belonged to a pirate I slew. It was my first kill. I'd like you to have it."
He stepped to her, and found himself almost trembling at the anticipation of her touch.
Reaching out to take her hand, he meant to slip the ring onto her finger before sitting her upon the bed, kneeling before her, parting her knees, and seeking that tiny precious nub with his probing tongue. He hoped he could find the spot. Everything he did now would reflect on his House and his own personal prowess.
And as his mother had once schooled him, 'There is only one chance to make a good first impression.'
"I accept your proposal," he said at last, and moved into the indicated bedroom. There, he unbuttoned his shirt and loosened his breeches as he curled and uncurled his tongue inside of his mouth, thinking to limber it for the extensive licking his prostitute instructor had suggested was necessary for the best possible marital experience. The licking had to be done first, before the thrusting. Before the breach. Before the blood.
For her part, the young officer marched before him and when she entered the bed chamber, pulled at the cords of her kirtle so that it fell to the floor revealing that she was completely naked beneath. She walked to the bed and lay down on it; arms by her side, legs together, staring at the ceiling as if she was standing stiffly to attention on parade.
Once he stood before her, nude and at full attention, he slipped one of his rings from a finger. "I do not know your traditions here, but in my country, the man gives his intended a ring. This one belonged to a pirate I slew. It was my first kill. I'd like you to have it."
"Oh. Very well." agreed Wynn, but she thought that if the slightly ape-like humans, who were obsessed with rutting at all hours of the day, from what she had observed, had to give each other rings every time they intended to 'do it', then they must get through an awful lot of rings. "Well, better get on with it, then." she added. The sooner Sir Aldebrand had slaked his lust for her, the sooner they could get on with the important matter of quashing these plots against the Empress's Peace.
What was he doing now? Oh, putting the 'Intention Ring' on her finger. Was that a thing? She just hoped she could get it off again easily afterwards, she didn't allow herself or her riders fripperies like jewellery or makeup, not that they wanted such things either: they were all dedicated, fanatical Drakeri warriors, not human trollops.
He slipped the ring on and parted her legs.
"Oh, sorry." she'd forgotten he couldn't do his business otherwise. And then he got it completely wrong: he put his head between her legs instead of his carrot. By the elder Gods! The man knew even less about how to do this business than she did.
"Sir Knight!" she called down to him "I fear your mighty felldrake is aimed too low" she used a simile he would understand, though if his 'felldrake' was as useless as those real ones the Salainites depended upon, he would be in dire straits. "You will achieve little in that position, I fear." she advised.
Now what was he doing?! Licking her down there?
"You need not do that, Sir Knight, it is already quite clean." she advised. It did feel quite nice though. In fact...